Day 1
It took the best part of 30 hours to get up to John's Goat but we made it all in one piece... Eventually. Thank you Brian of Scotrail at Inverness train station, by the way. Despite the lack of a gambling carriage on the sleeper we still found time to enjoy a wee dram or two. 6 am-ish the following morning we kicked off the migration. At the first scheduled stop, we met some lovely ladies in Thurso. Solid breakfast too. The following 40 miles were hard. Heavy wind and long hills. After a big lunch somewhere we headed south. Just 15 hours after setting off we rolled into the hostel. The tough day had taken its toll. Shaun's rear mudguard broke and Ben's achilles ended his trip early.
Day 2
With a Ben-shaped hole in our peleton, we set off on a more manageable 65-mile day. Clearly still knackered from the day before, we rolled to Loch Ness pretty uneventfully. We bumped into a nice fella who was cycling the North Coast 500. Shaun laid the world's longest skidmark as we dropped down a chasm. Scottie Dog shortbread was a good snack. We got a free pizza at dinner which was lunch for the following day. Had haggis on it. Pretty nice.
Day 3
Annoyingly we found ourselves on the wrong side of Loch Ness. This meant that instead of cycling on the new £3mil super cycle highway we had to use the A road. Anyhow, we cracked on down the side of the Loch. The castle was £15 to enter so we skipped it. An hour or so later we joined the cycleway to Fort William. The first mechanical happened but was easily fixed. Fort William is a cool place and worth a trip. The shower was amazing.
Day 4
Day 4 we attacked the highlands with Henry's knee bandaged up. Some crazy views. Some fun speed. It was a good day. Lots of bike pics. Can't really remember it to be fair. The last 20 miles or so were on an old rail line.
Day 5
Contrary to the name, the lowlands was tough. Full of hills. Lots of wind. Hard day. A Solero Exotic was a highlight. Plus a TV in the room at the service station.
Day 6
The great heatwave of 22 started and even in Lockerbie, it was hot. In a significant milestone, we crossed the border into England. Dinner was good, we went to a little Mexican restaurant. Henry had a pork burrito. Shaun had a goat birria. Good music, good pint, good food. We found a hedgehog.
Day 7
Breakfast in Penrith was as good as dinner. On another hot day, we pushed towards Preston. Preston. Henry had a fan in his room. Shaun did not.
Day 8
We woke up to a crime scene with forensics just around the corner of the BnB so we fled. Some cows slowed us down in the midday sun but what can you do? Our mate Doyle had moved out to Llangollen and his parent's house just so happened to be on our exact route so we stopped for a beautiful BBQ, a swim in Hanmer lake, and just enjoyed a chill after a week of rushing. God bless the Doyles.
Day 9
We kipped in an old dairy milking station. A friendly yard dog kept Shaun busy for two hours. Henry enjoyed the peace and quiet. We met another friendly animal down the road. Ludlow was home for the night. 10/10 for Catherine and Richard. Ludlow, a real treat.
Day 10
Spurs kicked off at 4:30 against Chelsea so for the first half of the ride, we just banged it down the side of the A road to make up some time. The rest of the ride was through the Wye valley which was sweet. Area of outstanding natural beauty. We got a ferry. £4. "Bit steep". After a few pints, we sat down for dinner at the third-best Indian restaurant in Wales. Shaun had the balti special. Henry had chicken tikka masala.
Day 11
Henry lives in Bristol so took charge of the journey as a local guide. Over breakfast, some bloke crashed his car. "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill!" he snapped. Keen to challenge himself further, Henry decided we should take the scenic route through Cheddar Gorge. Nice views. But the real highlight was the friendly cows at the top of the hill. To cap off a nice day we cycled through Wells, the town where they filmed Hot Fuzz. Couldn't get a Cornetto.
Day 12
The heatwave ended abruptly as we made our way down to the south coast. It belted it down and after waiting under a tree until we were both saturated we decided to just leave. About a mile down the road we found an actual shelter. Henry donned a very smart one-time poncho. There was a beer barrel rolling contest in Beer. Didn't fulfil its potential. Dinner was rubbish too.
Day 13
About 20 minutes into the day we met a ridiculous climb. About an hour after that we met another. 19% upright which is practically vertical. Coming down Henry hit 45.9mph, the top speed of the trip. Sidmouth is lovely. A family of ducks befriended Shaun. A gang of seagulls taunted Henry. With new brake pads and fresh air in Shaun's tyres, we flew west.
Day 14
Another big milestone: the final county. Cornwall. If you haven't been it's very hilly. There was a place called Chipshop. We had a great lunch at the highest tea room in the world. Shaun enjoyed cream tea. Henry doesn't like cream tea so had a biscuit. Two coffees each. It was good. A family of sheep ran into a pub. In Truro, we found ourselves in the White Hart. It was quiz night. And bingo night. And raffle night. We had a couple of pints, got a pizza delivered and won the raffle. The kind people of the pub waved us off and wished us luck.
Day 15
The 1000-mile mark. Shaun crashed into Henry about 25 miles from the end and broke Henry's bike. Shaun was guilty of cycling too quickly uphill. And not looking. Thankfully we got it fixed at a bike shop and we continued. With more climbing and more wind, we finally approached Land's End. £10 for a photo with the sign. Scandalous. Regardless, we paid and signed ourselves into the history book and trekked back to The Last Inn for a celebratory pint. Another 20 miles back to Lelant where we reach our final stop. Happy not to be wearing bib shorts we lounged all day and night on the beach with a BBQ, beer, champagne and other nice things like crisps. A perfect end to the trip. Thank you Bea xx
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